5 Ways To Sneak Liquor Into The Park

Five Ways To Sneak Liquor Into The Park 

Open container laws can be confusing and inconsiderate. Here are five ways to sneak booze in the park and watch afternoons just fly by.

1. The Lipstick Flask

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You haven't cared about your appearance for some time now, but the judgy parents at the park don't know that (or maybe they do). Pop a little SoCo into this whore-red faux lipstick container, mix it with some sweet tea, and you'll have an economical, discreet beverage in seconds. 

2. The Flip Flop Flask 

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At a beach wedding with a cash bar? Don't let the cheap ass bride and groom get you down!  On vacation with your entire terrible extended family? Chances are your mother-in-law is silently counting your drinks. Flip flop flask to the rescue! Fill your plastic hobo shoes with a bit of whisky and pat yourself on the back for planning ahead. 

3. Nintendo Duck Hunt Flask 

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Because carrying around a 25-year old video game cartridge isn't suspicious at all. If anyone asks, tell them it reminds you of your childhood "before the bad" and then start fake crying until they awkwardly back away. 

4. Fake Beard 

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So, basically you're all out of f*$cks. You're willing to engage in Disney villain cosplay to get a few beers into your kid's soccer game and we respect that. 

*This is a gag gift but we wish it were real. Imagine someone wearing it to a PTO meeting. 

5. Binocular Flask

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These are perfect for: the nosebleed section of concerts, the cheap seats at a basketball game, and sneaking hard liquor into a birdwatching convention. Enjoy!

Drink responsibly (that means share). 

And remember, you're not drinking alone when you're logged into Facebook.